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It's Never Too Late
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Dani Rukin, CPCC, PCC
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“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. But the second best time is today.”
~Chinese proverb
I love this because there are so many things I am doing now, later in life, that I never had the courage to do before when I was younger. And, as a result I am having the time of my life!
If I wanted, I could come up with a million excuses as to why “it’s too late” to live the life of my dreams. For starters, although my spirit is more vibrant and energized than ever before, my body is not! I just don’t have the same ole “bounce-back” I had at 25 as I do now in my late 40′s, and yet, I am not letting that stop me from making choices like moving cross-country to a big city I don’t know, filled with friends I haven’t yet met so that I can live near the beach, surrounded by year-round swaying palms and fruit trees.
 Yeah, it would have been great to have moved here 25 years ago and learned to surf and play volleyball in the sand before I developed multiple repetitive stress injuries throughout my well-worn body, but I didn’t so what’s it going to be – lay down and cry or get on with it? Well, I chose the latter and couldn’t be happier.
The above proverb is a reminder that it is never too late to be, do, and have all that life has to offer! There’s no better time than now to live a life you love because yesterday is gone and tomorrow never comes. In the end, what do you have to show for your unlived dreams? Even better, 10 years from now, what kind of memories do you want to be able to look back on?
Try this out: ask yourself, what is one thing you can do today that you wished you had done years ago? Now, start taking the steps to make it happen. It may be as simple as reaching out to someone you’ve been meaning to re-connect with, bringing a camera with you on your outings and take those pictures you’ve been meaning to shoot, getting that story that’s been in your head for ages out onto paper, or take a weekend or a day trip somewhere off the beaten path that leads to some unforeseen adventure.
The sky really is the limit when you decide to take a chance and do something different. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over again, expecting different results. If you’re feeling lackluster in your day-to-day life then it’s time to shake things up a little and see what’s available to you from a fresh perspective. But we can’t create something new and fresh from a mind filled with old, stale ideas so start with an open mind and heart and dive in with the courage and curiosity of a child, and see where it takes you. It’s never too late to have what you want!
Since it’s true that if you keep doing what you’ve been doing you’re going to get what you got, then what have you got to lose by doing something you’ve always wanted to do but left it behind and underneath a pile of worn-out excuses?
Have fun playing with this new approach and feel free to email me what you notice!
Dani Rukin, CPCC, PCC
Shoot for the Stars Coaching ~ for anyone wanting to live an extraordinary and accomplished life
Certified Personal and Professional Development Coach
email: dani@shootforthestarscoaching.com
web: www.shootforthestarscoaching.com
phone: 917.455.2355
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Sustainable Resolutions: Choosing What You Want Most
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Dani Rukin, CPCC, PCC
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I once heard that discipline is just choosing between what you want now and what you want most. If that’s true then it would be good to know what’s really important to you so that when you are making decisions you can choose wisely.
Gandhi once said, “The only tyrant I will follow is the still, small voice within.” The truth of who we are is tyrannical and it patiently and persistently tugs at us until we quiet our minds of the made-up stories that keep recycling in our brain, taking up precious time and space that could be used to bring us real and lasting happiness. And it’s not until we bestill the mental chatter that we can start listening to what it’s saying.
Most of us don’t stop to listen because we’re afraid that it’s going to tell us to do something we don’t want, like change the dynamic of our relationships, eat the broccoli instead of the pizza, stop judging someone and, instead, get into their world and see their point of view of things, or give up a night of TV to enroll in a class in something we’ve always wanted to do.
If the pizza were going to bring you real comfort, or the lack of real communication with others was going to bring you more meaning and closeness, or being right were viable roads to true happiness, then we’d all be set. But, at the end of the day, I can’t imagine anyone saying they wished they’d watched more TV, or closed more people out of their hearts, or ate more foods that made them feel sick.
One of the reasons it’s so important to know the difference between that voice and your own inner knowing is that, without your awareness or permission, it will make choices for you that keep you stuck and unhappy. And, no matter how much you say you want something, if you don’t actually believe it, it will not come to be.
One of the best techniques is to start a daily practice of writing down your thoughts – I’m talking good old-fashioned journaling that is for your eyes only. I have been doing this myself, off and on, since I was a teenager and it’s also one of the first things I get my clients in the habit of doing when we start working together.
The results my clients experience from doing this is often transformational: restored relationships that seemed hopeless, the breaking off of unsuitable marital engagements, starting successful businesses from long-held passions, going from feeling hopelessly unemployed to getting a six-figure job, meeting and creating a life with the person of their dreams, creating a more empowering and exciting role in their company that better reflects their strengths and interests.
Most importantly, what comes from knowing ourselves is a greater ability to love who we are and that love is what creates true possibility – for ourselves, for others, and for the world.
Dani Rukin, CPCC, PCC
Shoot for the Stars Coaching ~ for anyone wanting to live an extraordinary and accomplished life
Certified Personal and Professional Development Coach
email: dani@shootforthestarscoaching.com
web: www.shootforthestarscoaching.com
phone: 917.455.2355
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The Four Pillars of a Wonderful Life
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Dani Rukin, CPCC, PCC
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Clients often ask me, “How can I have better communication with my significant other/business partner? How can I make more money? How do I find “The One”? How do I find a career I love that pays me enough? How do I lose the 20 pounds and keep it off? How do I have more balance? How do I get my business off the ground?”
No matter the question, the answer is the same and one of the forms the answer has come in for me is an approach called, The Four Pillars of a Wonderful Life. The idea is when all four pillars are firmly constructed, their sturdiness holds up a life worth living. Let’s take a look.
The First Pillar is to know ourselves. Imagine getting excited at the prospect of getting to know yourself more and liking what you’re discovering. Every experience we have is an opportunity to become more of who we are. But we have to be open to the lessons and willing to see that everything that happens to us is happening for us.
As the Tao Te Ching, written 3,500 years ago, says, life is a constant movement toward our wholeness and our greatness. When we resist, we suffer and become more estranged from ourselves and from connecting to our inner experience, which is what gives our lives meaning. When we realize that Life is a conversation, we become more relaxed and connected which increases our compassion and openness to ourselves.
The Second Pillar is to love ourselves. This can sound cliché and yet is so fundamental to being genuinely fulfilled and happy. How can you expect to live a life you love or even find the love of your life, if you don’t love, honor, and cherish your own unique self? Usually, we’re so busy telling ourselves what’s wrong with us that we don’t see our true value. We often hold ourselves to ridiculously high standards and see ourselves as deeply flawed so we don’t think we deserve to be loved “until or unless…”.
Our self-love is often conditional and comes with strings – pretty flimsy and not the kind of love I’d want to settle for with anyone, let alone have with myself. We try motivating ourselves to change from a disapproving, critical, and judgmental standpoint and, while that may give us the short-term results (think bootcamp and diets), it isn’t effective for lasting change.
The Third Pillar is to trust ourselves. Becoming trustworthy means we know we can rely on ourselves care for our well-being. This creates a self-assuredness that builds our confidence. It gives us the ability to make choices that fuel rather than deplete us.
The Fourth Pillar is to inspire ourselves. How many times have you said to yourself, “I’m bored, I can’t think of anything fun and interesting to do. I’m just not motivated.”
Life is filled with opportunities to connect and re-ignite your flame. Once your pilot light is back on, keep it burning by asking yourself, “What else can I try? Where else can I go? Who else can I meet? What else can I make?” Just like negative thinking and getting stuck in old beliefs of lack and scarcity is habit-forming, getting inspired is contagious, too!
For more information on Dani and Shoot for the Stars Coaching, please go to her website at:
www.shootforthestarscoaching.com
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